Almost Real News, America's second finest news source, is home to the most talented writers and comedians in the world ever. Period. No question. Believe. Shut up, just go with it.
We work sorta hard to bring you the news you want hear before those other ass holes swoop in and steal our thunder. Fuck the haterz.
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If you want a phone number please send boobs (preferably yours, but we're not picky) to the above email address. No, really.
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