Bieber Learns About Anne Frank, Helen Keller Listed in Next Week's Syllabus.

Nothing generally generates as much reaction in the news like celebrity sightings, stupid celebrity quotes, and Janet Jackson’s nipple slip during the Super Bowl halftime show in 2004, because as plebeians and peasants, we normal people want to read about spending sprees, unreal lifestyles, and things we only wish we could have. On that note, as a completely neutral observer of Justin and his life, and specifically his music career, recent comments regarding Anne Frank could not be anymore overlooked.

Bieber attempting to be philanthropic
 and creating a fan page for Helen Keller.

            Bieber visited the Anne Frank house and was reported to be extremely ‘sympathetic, emotional, and distraught’, having only found out about Frank’s true-life story, since he was not educated in school in Canada, (they ain’t got time for that shit). Jack LaMure, Bieber’s manager released a statement that said that, ‘We all know Justin is homosexual, but he does not want his fans, all the Beliebers, and the general public to think that his breakdown at the house was due to his sexual orientation; he was actually just very sad’.  

            Bieber was also quoted on saying that, he thought Anne Frank would have ‘loved his music, and definitely been a Belieber’. As a manager of a world-renowned artist, what you should advise your pop star to do, is not breakdown at a Jewish girl’s house, act extremely sad, and then affirm your false, egocentric belief that this poor Jewish girl who died during the Holocaust would have been a fan of your music. What is wrong with the world?

            In other news, Bieber also said that he would be starting a foundation for, ‘all the people in the past died heroically’. He is intent on calling it, The Foundation for People I Should Have Really Known About, or TFPSHKA. He reportedly tried starting a page for Helen Keller himself, and said ‘he tried to simulate her life and how she must have felt, and tried to convey it through her Facebook’. In conclusion, if you were ever neutral about Bieber, or love him, re-evaluate your life and realize that he is the bane of the human race.